


Pavlove

by secretly_a_spacaecadet



Series: Should I? (Multi-Fandom One-Shots) [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Altered Mental States, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempted Murder, Based on a Fall Out Boy Song, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Rewrite, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drug Use, During Canon, Edward Nygma Tries, Edward Nygma is the Riddler, Emotional Hurt, Fall Out Boy Lyrics, Fix It, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mayor Oswald Cobblepot, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), POV Edward Nygma, POV Oswald Cobblepot, Pavlove by fall out boy, Points of View, Recreational Drug Use, Riddler - Freeform, Self-Indulgent, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Song: Pavlove by Fall Out Boy, Temporary Character Death, The Penguin - Freeform, The Riddler - Freeform, attempted murder of oswald cobblepot, edward nygma kills someone, oswald almost dies, oswald cobblepot almost dies, riddler tries to kill penguin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22519273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretly_a_spacaecadet/pseuds/secretly_a_spacaecadet
Summary: SONG FIC... Song is: "Pavlove" by "Fall Out Boy"-----This takes place after Edward tried to kill Oswald------Ship: Edward Nygma/Oswald CobblepotFandom: GothamCharacters: Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot, and Original CharacterWarnings: Attempted murder, bad mental health, Drug Abuse, Graphic description of a murderWord Count: 2347Written: 2019
Relationships: Isabella/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot & Ivy Pepper, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Should I? (Multi-Fandom One-Shots) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563439
Kudos: 4





	Pavlove

**Edward  
** _...Something makes my chest stir..._

  
The memories clawed at my chest begging me to let them go. I needed relief. I needed something more then this dismal existence... I needed my light, my guidance and to my dismay that meant I needed him, the person I killed. If it was a rightful retribution why did I feel so damn guilty. We were happy once, just the two of us and I have that up all for a girl who looked strikingly like someone I longed to have never hurt in the first place. Yet to my dismay Oswald's ghost haunted my every movement in this house, I could feel his eyes on me, no matter how hard I tried to shake the feeling it was always there and it had became a constant in this dreary life I was currently living in. So I was out of the house as often as possible.

  
**Edward  
** _...Something makes my head blur..._

  
I've never been much of a drinker, maybe a glass of wine or two with Oswald but that was the extent of my drinking habits. They had never been like this, so out of control or with such heavy liquor. I tended to be a creature of habit, which Oswald was rather fond of due to how well I did my job, but ever since I lost him I had completely derailed. I was so alone, I had no-one and no real home, I just occupied the same space Oswald had with no fear of being forcibly removed because Oswald was gone and buried in his watery grave, all because of my own stupidity and I couldn't see my feelings clearer back then. I let falsified emotions cloud one of the things I prided myself on, my sense of divine judgement. Oswald did nothing I wouldn't have done in his situation because emotions make you do stupid things especially one as strong as love. The room had long since became blurry due to the excessive amount of alcohol I had consumed. I take a deep breath to try and focus myself on my surroundings to no avail the world still seemed to be a blurred and flawed as I made the effort to get into a cab with the girl on my arm. 

  
**Edward ~Flashback~  
** _...I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no..._

  
I pointed my gun to the place that would hurt the most, I wanted to cause him as much pain as possible. He groveled for his life, it was both meaningless and priceless to me... more to the effect of the earlier so I had absolutely no qualms about killing him. He fell backwards coinciding with my intricate plans. I was pleased that he stuck to his script nicely but he did one unexpected thing before I pushed him into the water to drown... he reached out to me, to grab me and it didn't seem malicious it seemed more like he desired to hold me in his arms one last time as well as hold onto me to steady him or even for me to save him. Honestly, I had to suppress the urge to dive in after him, to save him because something stirred deep inside me... something that meant I wanted him, I needed him unbeknownst to myself prior to the rather unnecessary shooting. That day is what I would consider one of the worst days of my life, even though people say I have a big ego and I can't admit when I've done something wrong I will willingly admit I made the wrong choice... I mean I killed my only true friend in cold blood for an almost natural reaction. No-one's perfect so why did I fault him? Why was I so hard on him? I love, I mean loved, and I lost him because I was being a pathetic human being and wouldn't let his mistake, although it was a major mistake, slide... maybe I should've been a little easier and not have made the punishment death, despite the fact it fit the crime perfectly, simply because that day I felt something important in me break. 

  
**Edward  
** _...I'm just a happy mess..._

  
I put up the façade that I'm okay, that I'm doing a little better each day but still grieving when in reality I am completely devastated and constantly need to allocution myself down, off that ledge that I am metaphorically putting myself on. I glace to the drunken girl who is sitting next to me in the taxi. She's not what society would call beautiful but I seem to find her rather attractive, she has a similar facial structure to Oswald but Kristen's hair, her beautiful brown-red hair. I know, I know she is just a substitute for who I really want, but I can't have him because of my incredibly stupid actions. I also know no matter how hard I try I can't remember why I didn't realize my feelings towards him sooner, and believe wholeheartedly that I could go through with what I did and still feel sane enough to carry on... which I am barely holding on. With the drugs that I take to see him during the daytime hours while during the nighttime hours I consume more then enough alcohol that will most likely send me into liver failure some day. The alcohol has minimal affects on the hallucinogenic that I take and one of these days it could kill me but I still don't care enough to stop my activities because they give me some peace of mind because he was right... I am nothing without him and I never will be so all I can hope to do is fill the void with something that will help me ease the deadly pain, the pointless guilt. I can barely carry on anymore, I'm such a happy mess these days... I mean fake it 'till you make it, right?

  
**Edward ~Flashback~  
** _...The drums are four on the floor..._

The music was deafening, some club remix of modern pop coming out of speakers strategically placed around the room with the sole purpose to make the girls dance so guys could stalk their prey in high hopes of getting one of them to go home with them. I saw her, she was dancing all alone, no-one was really paying any attention to her but me and she didn't seem to care. She had so much sass, just like my Oswald did... I really need to stop referring to him as that due to the fact that he was never really mine and never would because I killed him when he made a mistake of giving into his urges, not meaning to hurt me but release me from my completely rational fears. I caught the lonely girl turning around to face my direction, she had dark green eyes and brown-red hair but a facial structure similar to Oswald, her height was also comparable to the late Mr. Cobblepot. I couldn't help but stare at her for several moments before walking towards her, I needed released from the icy tomb I had miraculously encased myself in without intending to. I didn't know how to fix myself so I was ready to try anything and the alcohol that I had supplied myself with hadn't helped any. I had no idea what tonight's plans included but I knew for a fact she wouldn't completely enjoy them. 

  
**Edward**  
_...She's back to the bathroom for one more..._

  
We went back to the hotel she had been staying in. Absolutely no way would I allow her meaningless presence to grace Oswald's mansion, Oswald's house, and what little I had left of him due to the fact that having her there to do unholy, unspeakable acts would just ruin it for me and I rather liked being where Oswald's ghost haunted the walls. I missed the peculiar boy and I felt a pang in my heart as she headed to the bathroom. I didn't know what she was doing, nor did I actually care because I wasn't that into her as long as she didn't die and I was blamed I was cool with whatever. She came back out a cigarette draped out of her pale pink lips, it was lit but I didn't care because I really needed this and soon was preferable. I waited until she initiated something. How had I let my life get into such disarray?

  
**Edward**  
_...I'm the invisible man..._

When had it gotten to this? At first all I wanted was to actually be seen, then that turned into lust, and lust lead to this... lackluster sex. I felt nothing but the gaping hole in my chest momentarily filled. No rush, no thrill, no real climax... I literally felt nothing because she meant nothing to me. She was just means of getting the pain to go away for only a moment. I had a sense of clarity... I couldn't keep doing this, going on and feeling as if I had done something wrong, when it was Oswald who was at fault and wrong... right? Life's not nearly as black and white as I had thought, Oswald wouldn't risk myself as a way to achieve his pathetic goals because Oswald was self-sufficient and could survive on his own meaning he didn't really need me therefore I was disposable the entire time. Oswald could've gotten rid of me but he had grown accustomed to his personality, face, temperament, and little quirks that he actually wanted to keep little ole me around... why hadn't I seen it sooner? 

  
**Edward**  
_...Who can't stop staring in the mirror..._

  
I stood in front the full length mirror... he's back and I have no control over it anymore. I can't do it, I can't properly keep myself in check. I need to be released and it must be her because I would have it no other way. I desire more than just coitus, I wanted everything but most importantly I wanted her dead. I wanted to see the life drain from her savage green eyes, eyes that are to much like what I've lost. I can't stand it I need them to be dull and lifeless like Kristen's were that night when I took her life. I don't deserve love because of all I've done. I've destroyed the lives of innocents along with Oswald. How could I have done that and not have been completely insane? Oswald was right. I punched the mirror cutting my hand.

  
**Edward**  
_...I want to make you as lonely as me..._

  
I can't resist it much longer, I'm itching for the kill and hear her to beg for her life through constricted lungs. I need the sensation of the kill, it's been awhile since I've felt like me... since Oswald. I need her so I can be reborn. Maybe I'll test her intellect... see if she's anything like my father and Oswald. I let myself give a momentary devious grin before she turned back to face me, in nothing but a pair of lacey purple underwear and a nearly see-through black bra. I have to play along, I need so much and I will get it... but I will kill her. Maybe I'll leave her body as a taunt to the police, or maybe I'll dispose of her so it was as if she never even existed. Her name was, well is, Oseye, which means happy... what a shame she wouldn't be happy too much longer. 

  
**Edward**  
_...So you can get, get addicted to this..._  
_...You can get, get addicted to this, now..._

I grin as I tie her up under the premise of having sex with her... that wasn't the plan, the plan was to end up covered and sweating in her blood as it pours all over me and to hear her soft voice all desperate as she begged for her worthless life. I pull out my switchblade knife and point it at her slender stomach and she's almost too drunk to realize that severity of what's happening. 

  
"Beg," I growled lowly in her left ear. That's when the screaming, the pleading, the begging began. I laughed harshly. "Such a pretty girl. What a shame no one will ever be able to find you." 

  
"Please, please don't. I won't tell anybody," her screaming became more shrill and that's when I knew I had to kill her, it was time. I quickly stabbed her stomach and slit her throat, I felt her hot, sticky blood spray all over my disheveled face. I let out a low laugh, not caring that I was going to have to take care of this, good thing I know my way around places without getting caught. 

  
**Edward ~Flashback~**  
_...It's three drinks too late..._  
_...To talk to anyone but myself..._

  
I stumbled across the bar. Maybe I shouldn't think about leaving with her as I could barely form a coherent thought. Yet I could still comprehend that I needed this and maybe this would be what could get me out of my stupor. I needed myself to be better, to grow and get over it... I needed to fix myself and the only way to do that was to shake the funk I was drowning in. 

  
"Hello, I'm Edward," I shouted over the horrendous music and held my hand fingers out for her to take, and was thankful she took. 

  
"I'm Oseye," she spoke equally as loud clearly louder then my Oswald ever got, well that I knew of, and gave me a Cheshire Cat grin. 

  
"Wanna leave? We can go anywhere." I was confident. I knew she was the one, fate brought us together and I wasn't about to give this up.

  
**Edward**  
_...It's a three-and-two pitch..._  
_...To walk to anywhere else, no..._

  
I sigh dramatically, that wasn't enough to break me from this icy tomb but it was enough to screw my head on right. I'll take her body out back to dispose of her and destroy the tapes that show I was even here.


End file.
